Friday, October 12, 2012

Lilytorial #3

Today is Friday, people! You know what that means..

Lilytorial #3: Public Speaking

If I could pick one thing in this world that I just despised, it would be speaking in public.

It is not the actual speaking that gets me. It is the microphone. I hate them. Actually, hate is too light of a word.  They scare the living crap out of me (excuse my language). I hate the way they make me sound. I hate the way they project my voice. And I hate the way they smell. You are probably judging me right now. Stop it!

I guess I shouldn't say that I hate microphones. I mean, they are only doing their job. I suppose I hate the job that they have. I think that I am already loud enough without having to use technology to send my voice across spacious areas. I am scared just typing all of this. I feel like I am telling you guys a big secret or something..

The truth is that my youth pastor approached me earlier this week and wants me to speak at an event at our church tonight. HELP ME. I know I can do it and that it won't be nearly as bad as I am making it out to be. I am just psyching myself out. It's only a hundred or so people...

I am expecting something to happen though. Something incredibly awkward.

Cause that is just how my life is.


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Only Me

You think that I would be used to the fact that my life is one continuous string of awkward moments. Well, I'm not.

Today started off like any other day. I woke up at four fifty (I know...EARLY) so I could catch the bus by six. I put some hairspray in my hair, a little blush on my face and then I was off. After an hour of sitting on my  lovely (heavy on the sarcasm) bus, I have to transfer to another bus so I can get to my school.

Here's where the fun begins...

I was walking up the stairs of the bus minding my own business when all of a sudden I fell. Straight down. In front of everyone. I didn't even trip; I just...fell over. Thank goodness my laptop survived the trip!

This resulted in a few wonderful scratches on my hand which immediately started to bleed. Thankfully, I had a giraffe print bandage at the bottom of my book bag. Stylish, I know.

To top off this wonderful day, my bus broke down. I saw this coming, though. I am actually surprised it didn't happen earlier. My bus driver handled it well...not. We were stuck for an hour.

This is the same lady that...

A. Lets kids get off the bus randomly during the route to pee. One kid even went so far as to take a leak in the bushes on the side of the road; however, this turned out to be someone's backyard. We didn't know until he got back, but the owner of the house told the kid that he could use the actual bathroom in his house. Can't my bus driver get fired for that? It's creepy...

B. Has assigned seats. Really? It's insulting. When I got on the bus this afternoon, I saw that someone had written "Ha Ha" under my name tag on my assigned seat. I guess my last name is funny to the common folk. The dude that sits behind me informed me that the comment has been there for a few weeks. Shows you how observant I am...

C. Pulls over to the side of the road many times during each trip to "lecture" us about the volume of our iPods or letting someone else use your phone. I'm serious. That actually happened. Last month she pulled over in a neighborhood and kept us trapped in that hot, smelly bus for twenty minutes while she was arguing with a freshman about letting a girl use his phone to make a call. It's a ridiculous vehicle, people and all.

I have so many bus issues.


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Lilytorial #2

I know this is late...But surprise!

Today, a lot of things happened. Most of them were good things...great things! I had the day off from school so I spent the day with my mom. I love spontaneous adventures! We went shopping, got some lunch, and just drove.

But she is all mine. You can't have her...

It had never really happened to me before, but I guess it was bound to eventually. Brace yourself...I got a bad haircut today. Shoot me now...

I knew something was going to end up drastically wrong when my *new* hairstylist kept saying things like "oops" and "that doesn't look right" and "that is not even at all". She completely ruined my side bangs. Which is an even worse fate when you have naturally curly hair.

I suppose this Lilytorial is a review of the lovely establishment where I got my hair butchered cut. I will spare you the name, because honestly I don't want to deal with people's comments.

First of all, why do cheap hair salons always have a horrible smell? It is a distinct chemical smell that most of these places possess. Weird...

I blame *company name here* for this brutal slaughter. The lady who cut my hair was not young and fresh out of beauty school. Don't companies check and make sure their employee knows what they are doing before they hire them? If they don't, they should. Personally, I don't think this job is one that should be taken lightly. People's hair can be a prized possession. Anybody working with hair or other important bodily stuffs should one hundred percent know what they are doing. It is not fair to the customer! I am paying them to do a good job. I am trusting one of my prized possessions to them. Know how to do your job right! I don;t think this is too much to ask.

I stayed up late tonight to try and figure out a good hairstyle to accommodate my mane. Talk about desperate...After that I decided I am just going to suck it up and take it like a woman!

It'll grow back out...eventually.


Monday, October 1, 2012


Good Monday morning, world!

I can barely contain all of my excitement for the upcoming month. I LOVE October. The weather is gorgeous and so are the colors. It is a season of change, and I love that.

Recently, I got a job. A real job. With taxes.

I am now an employee at Sweet Frog Premium Frozen Yogurt in Raleigh. Beat that.

I have only worked there for about five weeks and in that short span of time I have managed to screw up many things. On my second shift...SECOND...I was working in the front greeting people and filling up the topping containers. Underneath the counter, we have cabinets with large containers full of different toppings. I accidentally knocked over the bucket full of Reese's Pieces all over the floor. I am talking thousands of tiny candies scattered everywhere. It wasn't pretty. After that, I had to sweep them all up and throw them out. I still can't believe I wasted all those perfectly delicious Reese's Pieces...

A couple of days later I was back at work and completely focused so I wouldn't make any mistakes. Too bad I forgot how clumsy and awkward I am. This time I was working in the kitchen; my job was to fill up the yogurt machines. Some flavors are pre-mixes, which basically means to me that they are in huge buckets and are very hard to lift and tip into the machines. Mango, my favorite, just happens to be a pre-mix. I took as many precautions as I could so I would not mess up this time. Well, that didn't help at all. I ended up spilling the liquid down the side of the machine and on the floor. It was quickly spreading and I had to figure out something to do...and fast. Another employee walked into the kitchen at this time and after being shocked, told me to grab a mop. After awhile, I finally had all the mango mopped up and the floors cleaned. Let's just say that it wasn't the most refined moment of my life.

Both of those experiences have scared me straight and I have been extra careful when handling frozen yogurt related foods. If there is one thing I have learned from my job so far, it is that I am a strawberry-chopping boss. I can knock out a whole tray of them in like seven minutes. In case you were wondering, that's talent.